Happy New Year from the Antichrist Watch (AW)! We hope you have a happy and hope-filled 2021.
Elon Musk (1) just became the wealthiest man in the world, which elevates his position to the top of the Antichrist Watch: Jeff Bezos (2) now sits a little lower on the hypothetical dark throne.
As Trump’s presidency ends in disgrace, Jerod Kushner (12) dropped on the Antichrist Watch list. This is not to say that JK is not a fan favorite, as his international dealings scream antichrist like teenage girls at a 1956 Elvis appearance. Baron Trump’s (9) rating has been steadily increasing over the last four years. Baron’s latest bump comes when his internet search history was revealed to be riddled with twisted perversions. On the other hand, he is a typical teenage boy. The behavior of a teenage boy and the machinations of the antichrist contain a large amount of overlap.
In a Twitter rant last Tuesday, hip hop artist and fashion designer, Kanye West (142) slammed the Antichrist Watch for not including him in the Top 20 Potential Antichrist released in late December. West tweeted,
John Lennon was put on the list in the 70s for questioning religion. I say I AM GOD and the Vatican doesn’t bat a single eye! #Vaticant
Antichrist Watch spokesperson, A.T.R. Slopshire (112), responded to West’s allegations,
“While we appreciate the reference to the single eye of the antichrist, we no longer allow song lyrics to influence our numbers since the emergence of the goth music genre. Secondly, and I don’t know how to make this clearer: we are not affiliated with the Vatican! Why do people keep assuming that? Stop canonizing cinematic interpretations of the beast.”
In other AW matters, Joel Osteen (28) has been strangely absent from the news. In 2020, rumors of a secret divorce stirred but were quickly squashed. A certain contingent of antichrist watchers agreed that the dark one would not get a divorce, though their reasoning is unclear. Moving on to the Middle East, the new patriarch of the Bin Laden family, Abdallah (30) of Saudi Arabia, will be 45 this year. Perhaps he can unite the Islamic divide in 2021 and become the prophesized beast-from-the-east. Conservative members of the Antichrist Watch are famously against the idea that the dark one would be anything other than Christian.
A third grader from Topeka Kansas briefly made the list last year. Tommy Roberts earned a rating that peaked at 8 in September when one of his entries in a grade school art show went viral on Twitter. The fingerpainting was thought to depict a field of upside-down crosses, and blood spilling down on the dead below. When Tommy was interviewed on national television, he revealed the image was, “a bunch of airplanes killing people.” The reporter and the parents all had a laugh, and the world breathed a sigh of relief.
2020 was a great year for at least one of the Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse, and once they all show up at once, the party begins. Disease still manages to dominate world markets. Some speculate that War will be on the rise once China begins more overt operations against Taiwan. Once War comes, the others are right behind.
This year’s winner of the Antichrist Watch Life Achievement Award goes to Marilyn Manson (537) for his work raising awareness among youth since in the 1990s. In a press release last week, AW said, “Manson and the Watch have had an ironic, but mutually beneficial relationship throughout the years as we have granted each other an air of authenticity in the eyes of the greater public.” [Update: Recently, because of physical abuse allegations against Marilyn Manson, the award will, instead, go to the posthumous, Charles Manson.]
In late August, Warren Buffet (114) asked the board to remove him from the watchlist, “I think you’re safe. I’m a little too old for world domination.” After Buffet issued his statement, for some unforeseen reason, his Antichrist rating shot up 8 points. Sorry, Warren, although: Warren = 6 Edward = 6 Buffett = 7. That’s too close for comfort and I’m pretty sure the last t is silent.
-SMD
SM Dotson 